Feb 04

February 2, 2004 · Posted in imported

February 28, 2004

Little Dude In TexasThere was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost
all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his
problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining
table and started examining him.
He put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn
his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. “Aha!”
mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle, he
asked the midget to cough again. “Aha!” said the doctor again and
reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the
left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement
that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told him to walk around the examining room to see if his
testicles still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered
his testicles were no longer aching. The doctor said, “How does that
feel now?”
The midget said, “Perfect, Doc, and I didn’t even feel it. What did you
do?”
I just cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots,” replied the doctor.

Posted by Julie at 12:11 PM | Comments (0) |

February 27, 2004

A funny “movie”Here’s a little funny that was sent to me. There are some naughty words in there, so if there are little ears, maybe wait till later, but it’s funny!
Star Schmucks

Posted by Julie at 11:16 PM | Comments (0) |

Tub Tales… part 2Ok… so last time, the tub story was on Mommy… THIS time… DADDY is the “co star” of the show…

SO… Daddy’s in the tub with him this time, it’s been a while since he’s been able to play in the tub with Andrew. The kid, for whatever reasons, has decided that he will learn to stand up in the tub, using Daddy’s legs, and the side of the tub for support. WHY he won’t try this using the couch, or the side of his crib, where he has some traction is BEYOND me, but he insists on trying the tub, where his little flippers are going to slip. In any event… he has himself all twisted up, and reaches up towards Daddy’s face, and “discovered” dad’s nipple. He then proceeded to “tweak” it, until it became painful for Daddy… THEN he went for it with his mouth… and the look on his little face said… “If MOMMY had boobs THIS firm… I might never have stopped nursing!” View image

At this point, I was laughing so hard, I had tears running down my face, and Poor Daddy was just as bad… and to add insult to injury, his legs were asleep, and he had one HELL of a time getting out of that tub!

Good Golly, we really need a LIFE!!!

Posted by Julie at 05:01 PM | Comments (2) | Ramblings

February 21, 2004

LMAOHave you pets seen you nekkid?

Find out here!

Posted by Allan at 09:52 AM | Comments (1) | Rantings

February 16, 2004

away for the dayHi All!

I’m working in the office in MN today. Yay me!

I’ll be home as soon as I can hunny! Luv Ya!

Posted by Allan at 11:42 PM | Comments (0) | Ramblings

February 13, 2004

Friday the 13thWell, today is/was Friday the 13th… big friggin deal. The only bad thing I can think of that happened today was, the 14 year old, instead of hitting the “snooze” button on his alarm clock, hit the “OFF” button instead, and when I woke up just before 8… Guess who was still in his bed, snoring away? YEP! You guessed it! When I got out of the bathroom, he was like… “Mommmm?” real tentative, because he thought he was gonna get shrieked at.

Silly boy… 8:00 in the morning is ENTIRELY too early to start bitchin! Besides, I had woken up when I heard his alarm at 6:45, heard it stop, assumed that he had hit snooze, then I woke up again about 6:05, and the fan wasn’t on in the bathroom, so I knew he was still in bed. But I thought… if I wake him up now, he’s going to miss the bus anyway, and I’ll have to give him a ride at 7:15…AND if I get up now, there’s always that chance that the baby is going to wake up now too, so I’ll have to pack his chunky little butt along too. I made the executive decision to just go ahead and go back to sleep, and when I woke up, all by myself, I’ll go wake him up, and take him then. After all, anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I can use ALL the beauty sleep I can get! hee hee! (Don’t bother yellin at me hunny, I know, you think I’m gorgeous, and God Bless You for it dear!)

Other than that, it was a quite pleasant day. The little dude was in an extraordinarily good mood all day, until, of course, I wanted to make supper, then he went ballistic, and has been kind of a whiney butt since. Don’t know what his bag is… kind of wish he was talking, so he could tell me what was wrong.

Oh wait, he’s a male child… doesn’t matter HOW big a vocabulary he has, he’ll NEVER tell Mommy what’s bugging him! Goodness knows the 14 year old won’t fess up. WHY OH WHY can’t me and the hubby be Ward and June? Wally and the Beaver ALWAYS told Mom and Dad what was bugging them, well, inside of a half hour of being asked, anyway. And not ONCE did either of those boys run off to their rooms muttering “bitch” under their breath… but not quite under enough that I can’t hear it, of course.

Oh well, he’ll either grow out of it, or I’ll kill him. And my sweet revenge is that at some point in his future, he’s gonna have one JUST like himself, and then he’s gonna come cryin to Momma…”HOW do you get the kid to open up, and tell you what’s wrong? I can’t STAND this!” And I’ll just shrug my shoulders, and walk away to my bedroom, muttering “bitch” under my breath and then LAUGH AND LAUGH!

Posted by Julie at 07:18 PM | Comments (0) | Ramblings

February 11, 2004

Ain’t life Grand?Well, here it is again, Wednesday. Not such a big deal for most people, but for me, it’s my “Friday”. See, Daddy takes on most of the Baby care duties on Thursday and Friday, so Wednesday is the last day of “MY” workweek.
Plus, I get to go to choir practice on Wednesday evenings. Ben and I sing in the choir at church, and it’s just a lot of fun. I have met a new friend there. Well, actually, I have met a BUNCH of wonderful people at church, but Sue, I believe, will actually become someone that I might occasionally do things with outside of church. She is really funny. She is, in HER terms, “a little off” when it comes to her view point.

Last week, I had had a relatively stressful day with Andrew, and was pretty much wired for sound at choir practice. Andy had fussed and whined all day, and by the time I got to church that night, I was pretty uptight. Dave, the choir director was trying to make a point about how we were supposed to be singing “BIGGER” and “smaller” in certain places in the song. He was waving his arms around like some sort of possessed bird, and well, Sue and I got the giggles. We are the youngest females in the choir, and I think that some of the older ladies were oh, let’s just say, unimpressed with our behavior.

So, today, Sue calls me from her work, and starts out the conversation with… “Julie, this is Sue, and well, I’d just like to ask that you and Ben refrain from harassing me tonight at choir practice, so that I can be serious and concentrate on Glorifying God in song, all right?” I was somewhat stunned, and didn’t answer for a few moments. It was just about then that she started to giggle hysterically. She yacked at me for about 15 minutes, and I haven’t laughed so hard in quite a while. I think we might become good friends. It’s not often that one gets to say that about someone. I’m pretty excited.

Posted by Julie at 11:56 PM | Comments (2) | Ramblings

February 10, 2004

audio post powered by audblogaudio post powered by audblog

Posted by Allan at 07:46 PM | Comments (1) |

audio post powered by audblog

audio post powered by audblog

Click to enlarge

Posted by Allan at 06:11 PM | Comments (2) |

faux chocolate?go fish has something gross to tell this AM.

Go read and you will *Hack* also

Posted by Allan at 08:18 AM | Comments (0) | Jokes

February 09, 2004

diariesExerpt from the Busy Mom Blog

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DAILY DIARY:8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am …

Funny!

Posted by Allan at 11:14 PM | Comments (0) | Rantings

night shiftBlah!!!!

I am really starting to get tired of working nights. It is the best option when it comes to the baby though. Still, Bleck!

People are just RUDE and Stoopid! I work in a “customer service” type of environment in a call center from my living room.
It just never ceases to amaze me the dumb things people call in for.
This one takes the cake.

If you have a “Roadside Assistance” plan with one of your motor vehicles, why in the world would you call me and ask if I cant help get into your house after you locked the keys in?????

IDIOTS!

Wondering What type of people I deal with?

90 % are the ones on the right!

Posted by Allan at 08:31 AM | Comments (0) | Rantings

February 07, 2004

more cutenessI just had to get a picture of this!
He was soooooo tired!

Click to enlarge

Posted by Allan at 03:14 PM | Comments (3) | Photo

LOLA woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?

The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”
Thanks to JohnnyTheo.com

Posted by Allan at 11:30 AM | Comments (0) | Jokes

My Boy in AMI just love mornings! Someone here likes the “Cheerio face”!

Posted by Allan at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | Photo

February 06, 2004

This is cuteJumping Monkeys

Click the link and go to Feb 6 post and click on the link for movie. Needs Quicktime.

Posted by Allan at 09:50 PM | Comments (0) | Photo

LOLThis one will make you laugh.

Click Here

Posted by Allan at 09:23 AM | Comments (0) | Jokes

February 02, 2004

That LITTLE TURD!WELL, he finally did it! I’ve been thinking lately, you know, we’ve been really lucky… Then WHAMMO… REALITY CHECK!
Because of the stoopid design of our bathtub, it’s a “garden tub” which means it’s got a little step in the side, which makes it damn near impossible to give Andrew a bath in there comfortably. He’s still tippy enough that I’m just not comfortable leaving him sit in the tub, and if I lay him down, with my back, I just plain can’t get his chunky little butt out of there. SO!

To “solve” this little problem, either Al or I will just get in the tub with him, and let him sit between our legs, and it’s a blast for all involved. You know how Al is… and well, it’s just fun to splash and play in the tub again! So, tonight, this kid stunk to HIGH HEAVEN… he smelled like he had barfed up just a little bit of everything he’s eaten in the last 24 hours! OH he stunk! SO I’m sitting in the tub with him, washin his hair, and I look at him. He’s sitting there with his chin down, the eyebrows are red… I’m like… “HE’S POOPING! GET HIM AL! HE’S POOPING!” so I pick him up, turn him over, and there’s this little green marble of a turd stuck between his cheeks and Al just starts laughing and says… “TOO LATE!” I’m like… GRAB HIM! Daddy says… “What do you want me to do?” I told him… PUT THE OLD DIAPER OVER HIS ASS TILL HE’S DONE!”

I’m freaking out, because I’M the one who’s going to get crapped on, and Daddy’s just laughing at me. Andrew of course is completely oblivious, and is just enjoying the “flying” game… SO! Daddy grabs him and makes the executive decision to take him to the toilet… well, even though it’s only about 3 1/2 feet between the tub and the toilet, the turd then torpedoes out of Andy’s butt, right on the floor in FRONT of the toilet. So Al, thinking he might have to go more, sits him on the toilet… Then when he was all done, Al figures he needs wiping, so tried to wipe his little butt with TP, but he’s got a really tight butt, so the paper just stuck in there… So he dumps him back in the tub with me to get everything cleaned off. I just wish we’d have had a camera in the bathroom with us, because the look that baby gave me when he sat back down in the water was absolutely precious! He looked like… “Hiya Mommy! Why were you hollerin at Daddy? ” and he just grinned and grinned at me… What a little turd!

Posted by Julie at 08:58 PM | Comments (1) |