Oct 04

October 24, 2004 · Posted in Rantings

October 28, 2004

Having a “bad” day?One of my best friends sent me an email with this. I will definitely keep it in mind. Thanks Jim!

This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! The next time you have a bad day at work…think of this guy.Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”

Posted by Allan at 11:08 AM | Comments (0) | Rantings

October 27, 2004

Eureka!While surfing the blogs this am I found another funny one.

This answers a lot of questions. Enjoy!

Posted by Allan at 09:14 AM | Comments (0) | Jokes

Hmmmm

My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?
Looks like I’m not quite where I should be??????via …was i there?

Posted by Allan at 07:56 AM | Comments (0) | Ramblings

October 25, 2004

buttonLookie what my aspiriring graffic artist made for me. We swapped talents. I setup a blog for her and she made me a cool blog button. Thanks Sweetie!

Feel free to download image and link back to me.

Posted by Allan at 06:56 PM | Comments (0) | Photo

October 20, 2004

LOL

Presidential horror picture show via everlasting blort.

Posted by Allan at 11:41 AM | Comments (0) | Jokes

October 19, 2004

hmmmm

eat an entire costco sized chocolate cake OR a full bag of double-stuff oreos? Oreo’s
win a $500 gift certificate to starbucks OR best buy? Best Buy
have the whole day off to read and listen to music OR go hiking? Read and listen
take a trip to another continent for a week OR drive across your own continent for two weeks? Drive across MY continent

Posted by Allan at 07:11 PM | Comments (2) | Ramblings

October 18, 2004

anotherGENUINE’s Joke of the Day

Posted by Allan at 08:42 PM | Comments (0) | Jokes

funny1Thanks to Psychobabble Blog (another BlogExplosion find.)

Red vs. Blue: Internet vs. Real Life

Posted by Allan at 07:13 PM | Comments (0) | Link

WOW!Anybody ever here of these guys?

Their referral and link screw up my page! Yikes!

Click here to see a screen cap of how this bodges it up!

Very Frustrating!

Posted by Allan at 06:31 PM | Comments (1) | Ramblings

October 17, 2004

more stuffI think I have found a way to get more readers to this blog and othere

New visitors please leave a comment so I can see if this works. Please?

Posted by Allan at 02:18 PM | Comments (7) | Announcements

October 06, 2004

IMPORTANT

Check this out!! Da Bug is:

Posted by Allan at 11:17 PM | Comments (0) | Birthday and Aniversary

what do i do?I have a quandary? I am 43 years old and can’t seem to get a 15 year old to listen to me. It seems that everyday we get into an argument. And 9 times out 10 something will get said that frankly, just makes ME not want be around that person and I lose my temper. Anywhere else in society, I have the option of walking away or standing up for myself and defending myself from the insults. Not here!! I cant walk out! I made a commitment to stay no matter what. I can’t strike back because that would be wrong. What the @#$% am I supposed to do??

I am so sick of this. Iâ€™m not being that picky and it doesnâ€™t seem to matter what I say or ask this person to do. All I get is resentment and told to @#$% off. and “Thatâ€™s retarded!”

How am I, as and adult, supposed to “be and influence” or “be a mentor” when he wont take ANYTHING I say as “good” or “ok”.

I dont dare even tell him another way of tying his shoe, doing his homework, how to get a little organized, or how to walk the dog. No matter what I say I get the and some kind of remark or I will just flat out get cussed at!

I am trying hard to be a Christian “father” and yes I do let bad word slip from my lips more often than I want. It only happens when I lose control of my temper.

Is it wrong to really want to just pummel someone but not actually do it? I have never laid a hand on him other than to just hold him down. MAN! there are times when I just want to put my fist through his face! I will NEVER do that!
I know what you are thinking. No, I am not a wife beater or child abuser! Believe me I have been mad enough to do that and have not. And Iâ€™m still here also. I have been through 2 divorces and “lost” my kids once because of it. I WILL NOT DO THAT AGAIN.

Something or someone has to give.

btw dont you dare correct me on my gramar or spelling! this is my spot to rant and Im doin it my way! ( you know who I am saying this to….)

Posted by Allan at 10:48 PM | Comments (3) | Rantings

Ready?Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

What with elections coming up, we should all decide. Here is a little test that will help you decide.Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer(s):

1. Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or depressed?

2. Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

3. Could we run away?

4. What does my wife think?

5. What about the kids?

6. Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

7. What does the law say about his situation?

8. Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

9. Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

10. Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

11. Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

12. If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would my family get away while he was stabbing me?

13. Should I call 9-1-1?

14. Why is this street so deserted?

15. We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

16. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Southern Republican’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click…(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy!

Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?”