Why Me?

August 16, 2006 · Posted in Lymphoma, Rantings

Its official. Its â€œhair falloutâ€ day.

And I still feel yucky but am coping. It appears that I’m running 2 or 3 days behind the â€œscheduleâ€ that oncology nurse gave me. I should have been losing hair last Sunday but it didnâ€™t start till today.

I feel like such an @$$. My wife can see right through me. (See previous post). I really am scared about how this is affecting my body and Iâ€™m impatient about lump going away. I looked at before and after on the video and it skeeved me out. I really donâ€™t look good either. Last night after supper I felt just sapped of energy.

How does a grown man or woman deal with this? Iâ€™m working today but I really just want to curl up and whine and moan. Is this going to get any worse??

My wife is having hard time with the hair loss thing. I think she is worried about looking at my lumpy head. How can I make her feel better about this? Iâ€™m doing my best not to get totally upset about theses things. Yes, I do hide or try not to show how Iâ€™m really feeling. It helps me deal with it better.

Now how do I get the 17 yr old to calm down and discuss his feelings about this, life, school, job etc with me? I know he is upset, but all we do is scream at each other. My fault too because I have little patience right now.

Why does he feel the need to correct me if I donâ€™t say something right or if I misspell something? Or if in a heated yelling match if I donâ€™t quote something verbatim. Why does he or anyone else for that matter have to do that?

Who is the adult/parent here?

Help??????