An angel? LOL!

December 14, 2008 · Posted in Tribune articles · Comment

The 5 year old is in our annual Christmas Eve Children’s pageant this year. He was technically “in” it the last couple of years, but THIS year, he may actually participate, rather than stand there making funny faces at the other kids in his Sunday school class, trying to get one of them to laugh out loud, and thus get “Shushed” first.

When they started rehearsals, I was informed that the little ones, my son included, would be decked out as angels for this program. This information was given to me by one of the other moms of a “little one”. HER little one is every bit as rambunctious as mine, and we both had difficulty suppressing the snickers and snorts as the irony of this information sunk in. I mean, really! This is the kid who gave his mother a cup full of toilet water! This is the same kid, who, on any given Sunday, will ask, in his loudest possible voice, during the quietest possible moment during the sermon, “Is he done yet? I want snacks!” This is the child who will, for no apparent reason, jump up from what he’s doing, for the sole purpose of scaring the bejeebers out of our dog, which then makes the dog chase the cats, and the 5 year old finds it incredibly amusing! Does no one ELSE see the irony of HIM dressing like an angel?

I have said, ever since he learned to talk, that I had a fear that some Sunday, while we were reciting the Lord’s Prayer, we’d get to the part where we say, “and deliver us from evil”, and there will be a flash, and a poof of smoke, and I’m going to look down next to me, and he’ll be gone. And now, they want him to dress like an angel?

Then, there are times like today, or rather, the middle of last night. I was awake, as I usually am for a good portion of the night, and I could hear that he was having a bad dream. Then I just waited for the thump, thump of his little feet as he came to my side of the bed, to place his face millimeters from my own, and stage-whisper, “MOM! ARE YOU AWAKE? Can I ‘nuggle with you?” So I move over, and he crawls in, his cold little feet placed just so on my lower legs, so as to extract every bit of warmth he can from them, and he sighs a contented sigh, and says, “This is my favorite part of the day, you know! I love ‘nuggling with you, Momma!” Now, THAT’S a kid worthy of an angel costume, don’t you think? But, I’ll have my portable fire extinguisher handy, just in case he bursts into flames up there… Merry Christmas! Remember, it’s not about the gifts we get from other people, it’s about the gift of salvation that Christ brought to us.

Blue water

April 8, 2008 · Posted in Tribune articles · Comment

The latest from my wife’s monthly newspaper column. Hilarious!

I’ve got a little story for the next time you’re having a bad day. Yes, it’s another story about the joys of raising my 4 year old. This kid is incredible! He can be SO charming, loveable, and fun, and then, there are days like the following:

On Monday, we went to see a family counselor. We basically need to learn how THIS 4 year old works, so that we can find the strategies that are going to work with HIM. We DID learn that there are 4 personality types, and that my husband is one, I’m a different type, and the 4 year old is NOT a combination of US, but his own, unique type. He’s a Lion. Always wanting to be in charge. The counselor said that raising a Lion is VERY difficult, because children are NOT in charge, they CAN’T be in charge of most things, and thus, are almost always in turmoil. Yep, that’s MY kid! So anyway, we’re embarking on this new chapter, hoping that it will lead to more harmony, and less strife in our world. Pray for us.

On Monday evening, I was in the living room, watching some TV, and Andy was playing with his cars on the floor. I told him it was time to brush his teeth. He actually got up and went to the bathroom, (I almost fell over) I heard water running, and then when he was finished, he came out of the bathroom with the orange cup that’s kept in there for mouth rinsing. He was sipping out of it along the way. He says, “I brought you a drink of water, Mom.” I really don’t like drinking water. I know it’s good for me, but ick. But because he was so thoughtful, I took a teeny little sip. My thought at the moment was, “Note to self, make sure that cup gets to the dishwasher tonight”, because it smelled just a bit “funky”. Then, Andy took a big drink from it, and says, “Hmmm. That doesn’t TASTE like toilet water at all, does it Mom?” I grabbed the cup, took it to the kitchen, poured the water into a white bowl, and sure enough, there was the faintest blue tint there! MY CHILD FED ME TOILET WATER! The ONLY thing keeping me from just puking every time I think about it is the fact that there was that one little girl who did a study, and swabbed the toilet water at a fast food restaurant, and also took swabs of the drink dispenser, and the ice dispenser, and the toilet water was actually cleaner than the other areas of the restaurant.

So, there’s my little public service announcement for the month. Whenever things are going tough, you can sit back and say, “At least I didn’t drink toilet water today!” Just about everything else is less icky. Just about.